How To Deal With Fear

Today's chat is going to be a deep dive into the realm of fear—how it holds us back, how it shapes our choices, and most importantly, how we can liberate ourselves from its grip.

I stumbled upon this powerful quote that set the tone for today's exploration: "We tiptoe through life hoping to safely make it to death." Quite bleak, right? It struck a chord with me, forcing me to confront the undeniable truth that the only certainty in life is, well, death. But here's the twist—I see this stark reality as a push to ultimately live life the best we can. After all, what's the point of this beautiful existence if not to embrace joy, experience pleasure, and do the things that truly make our hearts sing?

So, let's talk fear.

How many times have you held yourself back from something because of fear?

How much time have we spent contemplating dreams and aspirations without ever taking the plunge?

It is important to remember that fear is subjective. What terrifies one may not even raise an eyebrow for another. And that's where our power lies—we can control our fears and, in some cases, even conquer them.

I found the concept of exposure therapy fascinating—it's like a gradual introduction to the very things that scare the living daylights out of us. Take the fear of clowns, for instance (oh, the technical term is coulrophobia, by the way). Exposure therapy allows us to inch closer to our fears until they lose their scary sheen.

But here's the catch: not all fears are meant to be tiptoed around. Some demand a fearless leap, a plunge into the unknown. Sure, there are instances where we convince ourselves that we're taking baby steps, all the while making excuses. Ever met someone who dreams of starting a podcast but keeps delaying it because the stars aren't perfectly aligned? That, my friends, is the art of making excuses.

Let's face it; fear is a slippery, tricky creature. It's subjective, it's motivating, and, to some extent, it's necessary.

Imagine a world where nothing scared us. It sounds dull, doesn't it?

Fear, when channeled correctly, propels us forward, making accomplishments all the more satisfying.

And here's the thing about intuition—it's like a hidden superpower. Learning to differentiate between the fear of excitement and the fear of actual danger is an art. I'll delve into this juicy topic in another session, but for now, let's agree that tapping into our intuition is key.

Questioning everything is another one of those fear-induced habits. When faced with a daunting task, we bombard ourselves with questions: When will I have time? Am I good enough? Is it the right timing? These questions, more often than not, lead to overthinking, a flaw that, let's be real, plagues us humans.

Here's a truth bomb: our beautiful brains are a double-edged sword. Yes, they're magnificent, but we tend to overthink. We dwell on plans, discuss them with friends, and then, more often than not, fail to act. It's like we're stuck in a loop of thinking and talking, without ever taking the leap.

Presence, or the lack thereof, plays a crucial role. When you're truly present, the past and future fade into insignificance. All that matters is the current moment, and it's in this moment that positive actions toward our goals can truly blossom.

And let's talk about time travel, shall we? No, not the sci-fi kind. I mean the mental gymnastics we put ourselves through by dwelling on the past or worrying incessantly about the future. Trust me; it's a waste of time. Reflection is one thing, but replaying scenarios in your head or wishing for alternate outcomes is downright counterproductive.

Now, let's circle back to fear as a lack of presence. When we're fully immersed in the present moment, fear tends to dissipate. Most of the time, the current moment isn't as dire as our anxious minds make it out to be.

So, how do we reel in the fear?

I've been on a year-long journey to master the art of presence. Creating space to simply exist, allowing thoughts to drift by like clouds, has been my go-to. It's a meditative practice—a moment to calm the nerves and connect with the simplicity of existence.

And here's another trick up my sleeve: spinning the "what if" in a positive light. Instead of dwelling on worst-case scenarios, create a magical best-case scenario. What if it works out splendidly? What if the universe aligns to make your dreams come true?

In closing, let's revisit that quote one last time: "We tiptoe through life hoping to safely make it to death." Life is meant to be lived, not confined within the walls of comfort. Expand your horizons, say yes to opportunities, and, above all, shed the shackles of fear. It's time to stop making excuses, embrace the unknown, and take action. Because, my friends, what if it works out? What if everything you dream of is waiting for you? Go out there and seize it. Until next week, ciao!

Listen to the full episode here: